Why I Get No Kick Out of Soccer

So, soccer is in the news with all of these FIFA allegations that make Bobby Lowder look like a saint. Lewis held soccer in a very low regard. 

It was a referee’s controversial call in a soccer match that started World War I

Twenty-one reasons why I hate soccer and wouldn’t pay attention to a World Cup match if it were going on in my backyard and the beer was free:

1) There are only three final scores in soccer. They are 0-0, 1-0 and in a real scoring orgy 1-1.

2) Being able to bounce a ball off one’s head isn’t that impressive to me. I ‘ve seen countless seals do the same thing on The Ed Sullivan Show.

3) Soccer breeds fan violence because it’s very dull and when the fans get bored they pass the time by trying to kill and maim.

4) Nobody ever throws a high, inside fast ball in soccer, baseball’s answer to killing and maiming.

5) A man named Phil Woosnam, then president of the North American Soccer League, one bragged to me, “In 20 years, soccer will be bigger than pro football in the United States.” That was 25 years ago.

6) Soccer is responsible for soccer-style kickers in American football. I agree with the late Norman Van Brocklin when asked about his reaction to the game after his Atlanta Falcons had been beaten on a last-minute field goal by some guy from Yugoslavia or Afghanistan. Van Brocklin said, “They ought to tighten the immigration laws in this country.”

7) It was a referee’s controversial call in a soccer match that started World War I. No, I can’t prove that, but I don’t have to.

8) Too many soccer teams wear dark socks with their shorts, a violation of every fashion law ever written.

9) The theme song for the British Broadcasting Corporation’s coverage of the World Cup is Luciana Pavarotti’s version of Nessum Dorman, from Puccini’s opera, Turnadot. The theme song of WGN’s coverage of the Chicago Cubs baseball is Harry Carey singing Take Me Out to the Ballgame.”

10) If soccer were an American politician, it would be Alan Cranston (liberal senator from California).

11) If it were an American actress, it would be Florence Henderson.

12) Parents of kids who play soccer in American schools are overbearing and obnoxious. It’s because they are secretly upset their kids are too wormy to try out for football.

13) My alma mater, the University of Georgia, overcame all sorts of odds and won the College Baseball World Series. I realize that doesn’t have a thing to do with soccer, but I just thought I would mention it.

14) If Georgia has a soccer team, I am blissfully unaware of it.

15) Bo doesn’t know diddley about soccer.

16) I was in London once and watched the Super Bowl of British soccer match on television because there wasn’t anything else on. The two teams ran up and down the field for approximately three hours, but nobody could score. They decided to play another game two nights later. I watched that, too. I’d seen all the churches, museums and china shops I wanted to see by that time. They ran up and down the field again for an hour or two and then the ball hit a player in the head and went into the goal completely by accident, and the final score was 1-0. When the game was over two guys came on the screen and analyzed it for 45 minutes.

17) If soccer was a vegetable, it would be asparagus.

18) Hitler was probably a soccer fan.

19) Parents of American children who play soccer will react violently to No. 12 and write me a lot of nasty, threatening letters. Hey, it’s what they deserve for raising wimps.

20) If soccer were an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi.

21) How ’bout them Dawgs.

BBQ Thursday: America’s Best BBQ

According to this article on CNN, Joe’s BBQ in Blue Ridge has been named America’s best BBQ joint.

Here is a comment from the site about Joe’s:

The pork and ribs are the standouts. Both were tender and packed with flavor, and smoked perfectly.

I am ashamed to say that while I have had BBQ in Blue Ridge, I have never been to Joe’s.  That is going to chang next time I’m up that way.

I’m curious now.  Have any of you ever been to Joe’s BBQ?  Do you think its ranking as the very best BBQ joint in America is valid?

Corbindawg

Everett Golson To UGA? Pros and Cons

There has been chatter about Everett Golson going south of South Bend to end his college career.  He is reportedly visiting UGA today.  Do I think he will wear the Red and Black this fall?  No.  Do I think he should, or should UGA welcome him in?  I’m not sure.

The pros:

For all the snickering we’d like to make about Notre Dame, the fact is he has legitimate game experience at a “big time” program.  Though he missed 2013 due to academic issues, his first year in South Bend he led the Fighting Irish to the National Championship game.   That season included wins over Michigan State, Michigan, Stanford, and Southern Cal.  Three of those wins-USC, Michigan State, and Oklahoma-came on the road.  Now, last season didn’t fare quite as well, as Notre Dame lost five times, but did go on the road to Florida State (and lost in controversial fashion), and Notre Dame got blown out on the road against USC and Arizona State.

He has real game experience, and this real game experience includes going on the road in hostile environments much like he’ll see in the SEC.  That is more than we can say for the other quarterbacks currently on campus.

While I haven’t seen a ton of his games, I’ve seen enough and gleamed through the stats.  He isn’t a “running” quarterback per se, but he does have athleticism.  He can make some plays with his feet.

Lord knows, we have the scholarship room for him.  If not today, then by the end of the summer. I’ll get to this more in a minute, but doing this is not the normal MO for UGA.  Wouldn’t it be nice to take a chance to try and improve and get over the hump?

Overall, I think the experience he brings to the fold will be a huge benefit.

The cons:

Bringing in a stop-gap quarterback isn’t the Georgia way.  We develop our quarterbacks, and if there is one thing that Coach Richt does exceptionally well, it is produce outstanding college quarterbacks.  Why mess with that system?  Other teams have done this sort of thing with varying levels of success, but I’m not sure we need to take that risk.  Ramsey/Bauta/Park can develop into a competent SEC quarterback, and the strong running game that UGA is going to have will go a long way into helping this development along.

Plus, will bringing in someone at the 11th hour hurt team chemistry?  One thing you can’t say is the team quits on their head coach.  The players, despite the adversity surrounding the team (and a lot of times because of it), always play hard for their coach.  They respect Coach Richt.  Will making this kind of move jeopardize that in any way?

Everything is trending up.  Coaches are good right now.  Recruiting is going at a pace we haven’t seen before in Athens.  You’ve got Nick Chubb.  The quarterback of the future is set to enroll next year.  Why mess with a good thing?

Also, Golson is prone to throwing interceptions.  Last year, he threw at least one pick in 9/13 games.  Three of those games were multiple interception games, with Arizona State having 4 picks!  For a point of comparison, Hutson Mason threw 4 interceptions all season long.   We’ve all heard Coach Richt talk long enough to know what he wants in a quarterback-no mistakes.  I’ve heard him say that it should be the quarterback’s goal to see that every possession ends in a kick-a field goal, a PAT or a punt.  I don’t think you get that with Golson.

So what will happen?  Only two people know for sure.  Coach Richt and Everett Golson.   How will I react to the news, whatever way it breaks?

I don’t know.  But it will be interesting to see.

Corbindawg

A Non-Conference Road Trip Wish List

In case you missed it, McGarity hinted recently about some possible non-conference road trips that could be in the works at some point in the future. Unfortunately, a lot of moving parts prevent a lot of dream matchups, but hey, one can hope, right?

Here are ten dream road trips, in no particular order.

10. Texas

Austin is compared to Athens by some as being on par with The Classic City. What better way to see it for ourselves?

9. Michigan

It’s The Big House, that in itself gives it some allure. If tOSU wants to chicken out of playing Georgia, let’s take on their rival.

8. Washington

Don’t let the rainy season fool you. Seattle is a very nice area, especially in September. Plus, who wouldn’t want to tailgate on a boat that you can float right up to the backside of the stadium.

7. USC (The Real One)

The trip to LA would in itself be great, not to mention taking on someone like USC

6. Oklahoma

A chance to embarrass Stoops on his home field? Sign me up.

5. West Virginia

Play the game in November and make a ski trip out of it on the side

4. Penn State

Other than getting to take on James Franklin again, two programs like UGA and Penn State would be an ideal match

3. Pitt

The venue would be less than attractive, but I’m up for avenging a Sugar Bowl loss any time.

2. Stanford

Tailgating in wine country would have its benefits.

1. Northwestern

Can you imagine a road trip to Chicago? Of course, it’d need to be early in the year. Lewis warned us about Illinois winters.

Go Dawgs!

Lugnut Dawg

Appreciate Gurley

There is a lot of love going on out in the Dawgosphere for Todd Gurley this morning.  And deservedly so.

I’ve had this thought for a while, and last night cemented it.  I was going to do-and still will at some point-a post looking at all the major NFL talent that has passed through Athens and the inability to cash it in.

But that won’t be today.  No, today will be an appreciation of what Todd Gurley has given UGA and the fans.

You know, we UGA fans are a tortured bunch.  We want success.  We want championships.  When we get close, injuries and bad coaching decisions have derailed our hopes and dreams.  If you are a professional sports fan, the Falcons and Braves aren’t doing anything to help us fill the void.

But ultimately, sports for most of us is just a nice distraction from the mundane minutia of our everyday lives.  I get up, go to work, come home, watch toddler TV shows, and go to bed.  Thinking about the Dawgs (or other teams), talking about the Dawgs, going to the games, telling great stories, writing a blog, etc. is just a nice distraction.  As much as we enjoy the thrill of victory and agonized over defeats, all this is just window dressing in the game of life.  It doesn’t matter.  It is not high on the hierarchy of needs.  What does matter is being a good human, enjoying your 2-year-old, and overall trying (most of the time failing) to be the best version of yourself.

That’s not to say you don’t care.  I do care. Just from this past season, I’m still bitter about not giving the ball to Gurley on 1st and Goal in Columbia, about the performance in Jacksonville, and the decision to squib kick against Tech.  I’m still filled with joy with the memories about the Clemson, Auburn, Missouri and Arkansas wins.  Championships haven’t come as often as we’d like them to.  It has sucked in recent seasons to be so close and see the pieces in place, and the team for whatever reason not capitalize on all the opportunities to give us fans the championships we are lusting for.

But what hasn’t sucked was seeing Todd Gurley play on Saturdays for three seasons.  Previous tailbacks that came through here before Gurley felt entitled or got into real trouble.  Todd Gurley played hard every week and was a pure joy to watch and enjoy.  What didn’t suck was last night seeing him get choked up talking about his injury and suspension, a suspension which you could argue didn’t need to happen.  He was a kid you couldn’t help but to root for, and all fans rallied around #3.

Watching the draft last year, you see Johnny Manziel flash that smug grin and do his money hand symbol. This year, you see Todd Gurley be humble and sincere. What a dichotomy from one year to the next.

There have been great players come through the program in just the past 15 years-David Pollack, Jarvis Jones, Matthew Stafford, A.J. Green, Knowshon Moreno, Thomas Davis, David Greene, Aaron Murray, etc. They were all special players and meant something.  Seeing Todd Gurley play for Georgia was something just extra special.

Someone asked me before if UGA needed to win X, Y or Z for an upcoming season to be good season.  Not every season can end with trophies and confetti.  You just know it when you see it.  Sometimes things aren’t clear-cut.  You just know it when you see it.  Nick Chubb may be every bit as good as Gurley.  The aforementioned great players were special.

But Gurley was just something different, and you just knew it when you saw it.

I hope that St. Louis Rams and NFL fans everywhere can enjoy what we’ve enjoyed the last three seasons.

Thank you Gurley for the memories, special moments, and the fun distraction you’ve provided us.

Corbindawg

 

Keep him home, Falcons

I’ll be transparent here. My NFL allegiance is not with the Falcons. Sure, I want them to do well as an in-state team, but I’m an NFL fan first of the team that plays at the same site of the WLOCP.

Still, the Falcons have a tremendous chance to ignite a whole other base by doing one thing tonight – drafting Todd Gurley.

Is running back the team’s most pressing need? No, but if Thomas Dimitroff is a bright as he is at times perceived, you can shore up defense in the later rounds and snag up Gurley at No. 8.

Now, Gurley alone would not put fans in the seats (winning does that). But, it would draw in an entire group of fans that have either ignored or casually followed the Falcons for Years. The Falcons mismanagement over the years has at times passed over UGA products. But you don’t pick a guy solely because he sells a few tickets and jerseys. You pick him because he will help you win games.

Gurley, however, would do both.

No matter where Gurley goes, some of the Bulldog Nation follow. It’d be great to keep that energy in Atlanta.

Go Dawgs!

Lugnut Dawg

Lewis Grizzard Wednesday: Does Tech’s ‘T’ Stand For Tacky?

Athens – This will end my crusade, at least until next September, to improve behavior at college football games.

After Georgia-Florida in Jacksonville, Florida players strutted in front of the Georgia fans at game’s end and rubbed in their victory by using obscene gestures.

After Georgia-Auburn, a member of the Georgia staff was hit in the head by a bottle thrown from the stands. So we come to Georgia-Georgia Tech here Saturday.

It was the Tech band that decided to show its collective hindparts.

At haltime, the Yellow Jacket musicians rolled out a Georgia Tech logo and covered the logo at midfield in Sanford Stadium that celebrates this, Georgia’s 100th year of football.

“The band,” said Tech drum major Dana Papp, “takes a lot of pride in our creativity.”

Creativity?

What creativity? All I saw was a group of juvenile horn blowers and drum beaters insulting the Georgia crowd.

It was like going to visit and neighbor’s house and deliberately spilling red wine on a white carpet.

The logo was painted on the stadium grass as a means of showing Georgia’s pride in its centennial season. Naturally, Georgia fans booed the Tech crowd.

“It made the people watch,” another member of the Tech band was quoted as saying. “Even if the response was negative, it was great.”

I thought people who make music in public did so to entertain. Whatever work went into the musical performance Saturday was completely wasted.

If those wusses had wanted to do something to make Georgia Tech look good in Sanford Stadium Saturday, they should have put on pads and gone out and stopped
Garrison Hearst. The Tech defense couldn’t, to the tune of a two-touchdown loss.

And speaking of Garrison Hearst, when he scored his third touchdown of the night, he struck the pose of the figure on the Heisman Trophy, given annually to college football’s most outstanding player.

I suppose he was trying to say, “I deserve the Heisman Trophy.”

I happen to agree, and I would like to see him win it. But I’d like to see him handle his acclaim as humbly and appreciatively as Georgia’s other Heisman winners, Frank Sinkwich and Herschel Walker.

And I happen to think Georgia coach Ray Goff would agree with me.

All this bragging, all this rubbing it in, all this show-boating, all this bottle throwing, comes from, I think, this “in your face” mentality in sports.

ESPN uses “in your face” to promote its sports coverage. “In your face” is just another way of saying, “Up yours.”

It breeds anger, and I don’t think anybody who sees it is impressed one bit.

Would the Tech band like to know what Georgia fans said to describe their little prank?

I heard “tacky” a lot, as well as “low class.”

Yeah, kids, you made quite an impression.



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