Archive Page 2

Scoreboard watching for the WLOCP is getting bigger

Scoreboard watching for the WLOCP is getting bigger

Look at it this way, it’ll be easier to see replays of Muschamp’s head exploding next fall in Jax.

Lewis Grizzard Wednesday: Talking The Russian Code

The Russians Out in the Code

I didn’t find it all that newsworthy to learn that the Russian and American governments often used bugging devices to find out what one another is doing/and or saying.

I always had taken this as a given. Wasn’t the first thing Bill Cosby and Robert Culp did when they checked into a hotel room in “I Spy” was to search out the bugging devices, which always were located in the flowerpot? I also figure both U.S. and Soviet operatives are smart enough to know how to say things in code when they are being listened to by the other side.

My stepbrother, Ludlow Porch of WSB/Radio in Atlanta, who happens to be an ex-marine and quite the patriot, was along with me on a trip to the Soviet Union a couple of years ago and we often carried on sensitive conversations in our respective hotel rooms.

We certainly took for granted our rooms were bugged, especially after one KGB “maid” asked him, “How are you enjoying your stay in Soviet Union?”

Before Ludlow could answer, she said, “Please speak directly into flowerpot.”

After that Ludlow and I devised a brilliant code to use each time we knew somebody out there was listening.

Now that we are both safely out of the country and plan never to go back, here is one of our typical conversations while in the Soviet Union, followed by the translation:

Ludlow: “‘Rosebud’ in the third race at Pimlico.”

(I’m so tired of Russian food, I could eat a horse.)

Me: “This little piggy went to market.”

(Before I left home, I went by the Piggly Wiggly supermarket and picked up a couple of cans of pork and beans for the trip. Want some?”

Ludlow: “Is a bear Catholic?”

(In the name of God, yes.)

Ludlow (again): “Are you going to watch “Sanford and Son?”

(Are you as sick as I am of looking at all that junk in Russian museums?)

Me: “Roger. The big polar bear walks late.”

(Dang right. I’m going over to a bar tonight at a hotel where they are supposed to have ice.)

Ludlow: “Is the new Sears Roebuck catalog in yet?”

(You got any toilet paper left in your room?)

Me: “Pass the Charmin.”

(A little, but I’m in big trouble when that’s gone.)

Ludlow: “Does Bonzo have the key?”

(Do you think President Reagan is correct in thinking these people are a major threat to the security of our nation?)

Me: “A flush beat a straight.”

(Are you kidding me? A country that still can’t master the flush toilet couldn’t hit its own foot with a guided missile.)

Ludlow: “Shoot low, boys, they’re ridin’ Shetland ponies.”

(Have you noticed how squatty-looking all the Russian women are?)

Me: “The elephants are marching.”

(They all have big fat ankles, too.)

Ludlow: “When the bird of paradise flies away, Santa’s belly will roll like jelly.”

(When we finally blow this place, I’m going to be one happy fat man.)

Me: “Hey, Mabel, Black Label.”

(I’ll drink to that.)

Ludlow: “Now’s the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.”

(Isn’t it a little silly for two grown men to be sitting here talking like this?)

Me: “The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy brown dog.”

(You can’t be too careful when the security of your country is involved.)

Ludlow: “Loose lips can sink ships, Jarhead.”

(That’s the first thing they taught us at boot camp in Parris Island.)

God Bless You, Mrs. Walker

Today’s is Herschel’s birthday.

Thank you, Mrs. Walker.

Disappointing, but not shocking

Josh Harvey-Clemons’ time in Athens is officially over, with him being kicked off the team for a ‘violation of team rules.”

You’d assume that he did something similar to the previous teams that he was suspended. If that is the case, JHC needs help, and it is best to leave Athens to get it.

It’s for the best that JHC is no longer in Athens for everyone involved. JHC and UGA need to move on. Inevitably, this was going to happen soon, so it’s very good for Georgia that it was prior to spring ball so that some other guys can get looks such as Tray Matthews or Corey Moore.

For JHC, it closes the book on a highly touted potential that was never realized. When you come in as a five-star recruit with signing day drama, the onus is on you to deliver big, and those expectations are hard to match (see Crowell).

JHC not only will never live down an errant tip on the plains, but also that he had all the talent in the world and pissed it away.

Go Dawgs!

Lugnut Dawg

Lewis Grizzard Wednesday: Delta Is Ready When You Are

If y’all don’t like Dixie, Delta is ready

I don’t care what they do to the Georgia state flag. They can put a big peach on the thing as far as I’m concerned. They can put Deion Sanders’ smiling face on it.

And let it be known that the opponents of the flag, with its reminiscence of the Confederate banner, will bring down that flag.

One way or the other, color it red, white, blue and gone. It’s politically incorrect and all the things that are deemed such have no future in this country.

We elected Hillary Rodham Clinton and the ban on the gays in the military will be lifted. It’s a done deal. Like it or not, the Georgia state flag has no chance either.

The issue on my mind is white Southerners like myself.

They don’t like us. They don’t trust us. They want to tell us why we’re wrong. They want to tell us how we should change.

They is practically every s.o.b. who isn’t one of us.

I read a piece on the op-ed page of the Constitution written by somebody who in the jargon of my past “ain’t from around here.”

He wrote white Southerners are always looking back and that we should look forward. He said that about me.

I’m looking back? I live in one of the most progressive cities in the world. We built a subway to make Yankees feel at home.
And I live in a region the rest of the country can’t wait to move to.

A friend, also a native Southerner, who shares my anger about the constant belittling of our kind and our place in this world, put it this way: “Nobody is going into an Atlanta bar tonight celebrating because they’ve just been transferred to New Jersey.”

Damn straight.

I was having lunch at an Atlanta golf club recently. I was talking with friends.

A man sitting at another table heard me speaking and asked, “Where are you all from?” He was mocking me. He was mocking my Southern accent. He was sitting in Atlanta, Ga., and was making fun of the way I speak.

He was from Toledo. He had been transferred to Atlanta. If I hadn’t have been 46 years old, skinny and a basic coward with a bad heart, I’d have punched him. I did, however, give him a severe verbal dressing down.

I was in my doctor’s office in Atlanta. One of the women who works there, a transplanted Northerner, asked how I
pronounced the world “siren.”

I said I pronounced it “si-reen.” I was half kidding, but that is the way I heard the word pronounced when I was a child.

The woman laughed and said, “You Southerners really crack me up. You have a language all your own.”

Yeah we do. If you don’t like it, go back home and stick your head in a snow bank.

They want to tell us how to speak, how to live, what to eat, what to think and they also want to tell us how they used to do it
back in Buffalo.

Buffalo? What was the score? A hundred and ten to Zip.

The man writing on the op-ed page was writing about that bumper sticker that shows the old Confederate soldier and he’s saying, “FERGIT HELL!” I don’t go around sulking about the fact the South lost the Civil War. But I am aware that once upon a long time ago, a group of Americans saw fit to rebel against what they thought was an overbearing federal government. There is no record anywhere that indicates anybody in my family living in 1861 owned slaves. As a matter of fact, I come from a long line of sharecroppers, horse thieves and used car dealers. But a few of them fought anyway — not to keep their slaves, because they didn’t have any. I guess they simply thought it was the right thing to do at the time.

Whatever the reason, there was a citizenry that once saw fit to fight and die and I come from all that, and I look at those people as brave and gallant, and a frightful force until their hearts and their lands were burnt away.

I will never turn my back on that heritage.

But know this: I’m a white man and I’m a Southerner. And I’m sick of being told what is wrong with me from outside critics, and I’m tired of being stereotyped as a refugee from “God’s Little Acre.”

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, and I’ll probably have to say it a thousand times again.

Delta may be hurting financially, but it’s still ready to take you back to Toledo when you are ready to go.

Mark Richt Has Lost Control Of The Force

Mark Richt Has Lost Control Of The Force

Support From The Top Necessary

If you are like me, you are going to spend this long holiday weekend with friends.  A group of us always takes of MLK weekend spends the weekends in the mountains.  Much fun had by all and it something we all look forward to each year.

And, if you are anything like me, Georgia football discussions just don’t take place August-December.  It is a year round obsession.  Even in uneventful times, thoughts on the schedule, depth chart and prognostications for the upcoming year are discussed ad nauseam.  So with the big news happening the last week, I am sure we will have plenty to talk about.

So, here are some points you can discuss that have popped in my mind the last few days.

-Why isn’t Mike Bobo the highest paid offensive coordinator in the SEC?

-Why isn’t Bryan McClendon paid more?  Both of these guys are the best recruiters on the staff, and in Bobo’s case, probably the best position coach and certainly has been the best coordinator for several years.

-Why does Georgia continually handicap itself with strict policies that clearly don’t work, while other teams in the SEC don’t restrict themselves like we do?

-Are Alabama fans, at this moment, discussing why their administration won’t pony up and pay their assistants market prices?  Are they worried about winning games on Saturdays and beating Texas A&M and LSU?


The news of Josh Harvey-Clemons’ suspension yesterday brought these issues to light.

I think now the general consensus among the Georgia people is our drug policies, while admirable, are too stringent.  Mike Slive needs to man up and make a uniform drug policy across the SEC.   I’m not saying we are right or wrong, but I am saying that if JHC was at LSU, then this second offense would only have caused him to miss one game, the bowl game, and then he would still be able to play against Clemson and South Carolina.  Because at LSU, a first offense requires no suspension.  The same holds true for Alabama-no mandatory suspension until the second offense.  Florida athletes are suspend 20% for the third offense.

I remember something Mike Adams used to say a lot.  He always said that academically, he wanted to UGA to be as good as our peer institutions-UNC, Florida, Michigan, etc.  These included having a medical school and an engineering school.

Athletically, I think we all want UGA to be listed among our “peer institutions.”  LSU, Florida, Auburn, Alabama, Ohio State.

We are close to being there.  UGA has the talent, money, facilities, fan base, name brand, stadium, and I still like to think the coaching to be on par with these peer institutions.

But life in the SEC is difficult enough to win on Saturdays.  Being handicapped by self-righteous policies is not going to help in anyway.

I don’t want to be dirty like Auburn to win.  I think one day the chickens are going to come home and roost for the Tigers.  I like and appreciate the way our programs are run, and I am confident that we are safe and not going to be found guily of any major transgressions or even be associate with anything dirty like Auburn is.  But there are big picture things that go on, and we can’t have it both ways.  We can’t complain about Clemson shredding our defense when the best safety on the team is sitting on the sidelines because strict policies our competitors don’t have.

Two final questions for your and your friends to discuss this long, holiday weekend:

If Georgia and Mark Richt have to part ways, and for the sake of argument we hire Gary Patterson or Kirby Smart, with the Athletic Association policies that are currently in place with regards to spending money and player punishment, will they be any more successful than the current regime?

Does it matter who the head coach in Athens is if the administration doesn’t offer the top-down level of support it takes to win?



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