Due to some real-world goings on, including Corbin Dawg welcoming a new member to the family, times have been busy for us here at TGT. But we couldn’t let a week go by without a Lewis fix.
Curing The Common Cold
The medical community has been excited recently over the discovery that a drug called Interferon may be the long-awaited cure for the common cold.
I think it is only fitting, however, we remember some of the methods that were used to battle colds in the past.
There have been some marvelous remedies – even if most of them didn’t work – handed down through the years.
My mother once told me that when she got a cold, her mother put a lot of stuff that smelled bad into a sack and then tied the sack around her neck.
They did the same thing, incidentally, to captured prisoners in World War I to make them talk.
I, too, have developed remedies for bad colds that I have had. And just in case Interferon falls on its runny nose, I thought I would mention a few of them here in case others may want to give my remedies a try .
GINGER ALE: I am convinced ginger ale can heal the sick and raise the dead. There is something about its bubbliness and sweet taste that always seems to soothe my scratchy throat and achy head.
Ginger ale will work even better if you can get somebody else to bring it to you while you are in the bed. If they will talk baby talk to you while they are serving you the ginger ale, this is even better.
“Does my little tiger want some ginger ale for his coldy-woldy?” is the type phraseology I have in mind.
SYMPATHY: I don’t care what anybody says, the more sympathy you get when you’ve got a cold, the faster you will recover.
It probably won’t do you any good to call any of your friends looking for sympathy, so the best place to find it is to call your mother.
If she says something like: “Does my little tiger have a coldy- wold?” you can expect to be up and around in no time.
MOANING AND WHINING: These have long been two of my favorite co- remedies. What you do is get into the fetal position and moan or whine.
A moan and a whine are different. When you moan you make low grunting sounds like “Oooooooh, my God.” When you whine, you make sounds like a poodle dog yapping for its dinner. I don’t know how to spell what a poodle dog sounds like when it is yapping for its dinner, but you get the idea.
Even if nobody is around to hearing you moaning or whining, it will still help your cold. If somebody is there to hear, however, that’s a lot better.
OLD BLACK & WHITE MOVIES: Nothing helps a cold more than lying in bed, drinking ginger ale, getting sympathy from somebody, while you are moaning or whining, and watching an old black and white movie on television.
If Jimmy Stewart, Barbara Stanwyck, Alan Ladd, Victor Mature or Yvvone DeCarlo is in the movie you probablywill be well by the next morning. If Ronald Reagan is in the movie, however, you can be flat on your back for weeks.
CHICKEN SOUP: This, of course, is the all-time homemade remedy for the common cold.
I really don’t know if chicken soup works on a cold, but in the immortal words of my mother, who was kind enough to feed me chicken soup when I had a cold rather than tying smelly bags around my neck, “Have you ever heard a hen sneeze?”
Think about it.