Archive for December, 2011

Lewis Grizzard Spinning In His Grave

I have a fancy smart phone, but I am not as fancy as our resident IT guru Granite (and if Granite is our tech guru here, that should say something) becuase I don’t have a eReader.  No, I don’t have a Nook, Kindle or even an iPad (though an iPad would be  very cool, but after paying for the data plan on my phone, it is hard to justify paying for another data plan on what amounts to a larger phone. 

I don’t like the idea of these things, becuase I like to have a book in my hands.  I like to feel the pages, bend the spine of the book.  I also like to share books when I am done, and when I get it back, I like to put the books on my shelf and try and impress people that come over so they can see a bookcase full of books.

If I did have one of those new fangled gadgets, you’d better believe that I WOULD NOT put Lewis Grizzard on there. 

I think it is great that Lewis is getting some love and a new generation of people can potentially find him.  But me personally, I would not want to download a book by a man who refused to let go of his typewriter.  It is not doing the man justice.  It is not how Lewis would have wanted it. 


A Look Back on Bold Preseason Predictions

Now that the dust has settled and the air has cleared, let’s look back on some bold predictions I made during the preseason.  As I am writing this intro, I have not checked myself, and honestly can’t remember what some of them were, but I know they are not going to be pretty.  I was 40% correct last year, so let’s see how I do.

First, the natioal predictions:

1.  Penn State will win whatever division they are in, and also win the Big 10 Title.   In fairness to me, this was looking to be a very sharp pick.  But we all know what happened, and while Penn State still managed to have a decent season, they are playing Houston in the Ticket City Bowl (I have never seen Ticket City on a map, is it like Springfield in The Simpsons?) WRONG.

2.  Georgia Tech will win 10 games, but not play in the ACC Championship game.   Tech started 6-0 and finished 2-4 in the second half.  Shockingly, one of those wins came against Clemson.  The other came against Duke.  I thought Tech would be better but I was WRONG

3.  Only one team that played in a BCS game last season will repeat in the same game.  To help jog your memory, let’s run down last years’  games:   BCS Title game:  Oregon vs. Auburn; Fiesta: Oklahoma vs. UConn; Sugar:  Arkansas vs Ohio State; Orange: Virginia Tech vs. Stanford; Rose: Wisconsin vs. TCU.   I had thought that Oklahoma would go back to Fiesta, but I gave myself some wiggle room.  Stanford, Oregon, Virigina Tech and Wisconsin are still playing in BCS bowls (so much for that parity), but only Wisconsin is repeating in the same bowl, so I got this RIGHT.

4.  Notre Dame will be declared as being “back”.   Notre Dame should have gone 10-2 this year.  How they lost to South Florida and Michigan is mind blowing.  They do play Florida State in a bowl, and I will say this:  whoever wins that game will be definately be “back” in 2012.  WRONG.

1/4 in national predictions.  Let’s see how I did for SEC predictions:

1.  Auburn won’t win as many games as it did a year ago?  Taking a cue from the Jeremy Foley/Greg McGarity cupcake scheduling, I gave myself a sure winner.  And plus, Auburn was really bad this year.  Now that Dyer is suspended, look for the Tigers to lose to Virgina.  RIGHT.

2.   Arkansas is overrated- I am still not sure how good they are and if they deserved to be ranked #3, but they are a good football team.  I’ll admit I was WRONG

3.  Georgia WILL beat Florida– Let’s just enjoy this one.  Also, look what I said:  Not part of the offical prediction, but Muschamp will have a learning curve.  The schedule does him no favors.  I look for the Gators to have another 5 loss season.  He’s young.  Young, first time head coaches have some growing pains.  Look for the Gators to get out coached some games and Muschamp to make some rookie mistakes, especially in the areas of clock managment.  I look for the Dawgs to get right against the Gators.  I was RIGHT in the official prediction, and even I couldn’t forsee how bad the Gators would be. 

4.  Tyler Bray will have more passing yards than Aaron Murray.  Injuries really hurt Tennessee this year, and injuries kept Tyler Bray from maximizing his full potential.  I would like to plead for an “Incomplete” here (and the Penn State guess), but you are either right or wrong, and I was most certainly WRONG

5.  Branden Smith will lead UGA in INTs.  Only had 2.  That honor goes to Rambo.  WRONG.

6.  LSU will beat Alabama on November 6- Bingo.

So I was 3/6 in SEC Predictions and 1/4 in National Predictions.  I was 4/10 overall, and my 40% clip is the same from a year ago.  At least I didn’t get worse.


Pac 12 The Place To Be

First off, excuse our absence this week.  It was busy at home and work, and with not much going on after the SECCG, this seemed like a good as time as any to take some time off.  We were on sabbatical. 

Since we last posted, there has been a lot going on, but namely the coaching carousel continues to turn, and coaches who were fired at previous stops get some new tread and are at it again. 

The SEC definately has the deepest pool of great coaches in the ountry, but the Pac 12 might be making a run for second place.  

Mike Leach and Rich Rodriguez were announced to be at Washington State and Arizona, respectively.  Late last week, UCLA made the insane decision to hire Jim Mora, Jr.  Hey, your guess is as good as mine. 

There are some pretty good ball coaches in that conference.  The Pac 12 North now has Chip Kelly (obvious), Jeff Tedford (has done well at Cal), Mike Riley (done a decent job at Oregon State), David Shaw (I am not sold  yet, might be another version of Larry Coker), Steve Sarkisian (done great job at Washington), and Mike Leach.

The Pac 12 South has Rich Rodriguez at Arizona, Jon Embree (I don’t know this guy but he won’t be at Colorado long), Jim Mora (bad hire), Lane Kiffin (if Barkley comes back, USC will be National Title contenders in 2012), and Kyle Whittingham (done a great job at Utah since Meyer left).

Arizona state is a dumpster fire, but I would say that every school in the North has a solid coach and 3/6 in the South is solid.  Especially with Rich Rod, Chip Kelly and Mike Leach, one thing is for sure:  take the over and be ready to stay up late, cause there are going to be some high scoring games.


Friday Locks

Oklahoma +3.5
Ohio +3
UGA +13.5

Texas (+3)
at Baylor
Virginia Tech (-7)
vs. Clemson
Georgia (+13.5) vs. LSU

Ohio +3.5
@ Northern Illinois – I’m thinking the Huskies will win but not cover so give me Ohio
Southern Miss +12.5 @ Houston – Same with the Mustard Buzzards
Syracuse @ Pitt -11

These two don’t count but I’m doing a championship Saturday parlay with the big boys
UConn @ Cincinnati -9.5
Fresno @ San Diego St -7.5

Houston -14
Michigan state +9.5
Va Tech -7

Baylor -3 vs Texas
Sparty +9.5
Ok State -3.5

LSU Game Notes

Sorry to those of you who actually print this off that I haven’t kept up with it all season.  This weeks guide is a nice wrap up of the season and the stats our guys have achieved.  Didn’t realize till I read it that Rambo is the NCAA’s active career leader in interception return yards with 241 and that with our beat up O-Line in the past two and three seasons Cordy Glenn and Ben Jones have respectively started 45 and 20 straight games.

Here are the Notes and Go Dawgs

The LSU Corndog Story…




At least half a dozen times a year I get a request for the post that talks about LSU fans smelling like corndogs. They come from Auburn, Alabama, Tennessee, Arkansas and every other SEC school. It’s amazing that after all these years, it’s still so popular. I usually run it here on Track’em Tigers every few years, because I get numerous requests. This season is no exception.

After all these years, we still don’t know the true identity of the author. An unknown Auburn person penned the very essence of the LSU Corn Dog six years ago. It was posted by a fan that goes by DeepBlue and appeared on the web site.

Without further ado, I give you the story of LSU and their fans who smell like corndogs…


LSU fans smell just like corn dogs.
Yes, it is often said, but so, so true. 
LSU fans do smell like corn dogs.
I would never tell them that to their face though. This is something 
better said at internet distances. Even now, I am afraid.
I am afraid that they’ll know I said it. I’ll walk past an LSU fan 
someday, and he’ll see that look in my eye that gives it away. 
That look that says, “gee, what is that smell? Is it corn dogs?” 
The next thing you know, I’ll have flat tires on my car.
If you only learn one thing from me today, remember not to tell LSU 
fans how they smell – you know, like corn dogs.
LSU fans seem, somehow, sensitive to that whole corn dog issue.
I think this may be why a lot of fans get beaten up by LSU fans. If you
attend a game in Baton Rouge, try to avoid telling them that they smell 
like corn dogs. Say something else instead. Like, “Wow, LSU sure does
have a great team this year. This is going to be a great SEC game.”
It’s hard. I know. It’s like when you’re having sex and you try to 
think about baseball. That corn dog smell is just so overwhelming.
It makes it hard for you to think about football or baseball or 
whatever else. Your brain wanders into corn dog topics like: “Gee, I
wonder if I took a bite of your finger, if you would taste just like 
a corn dog?”; or “Is this a real person or is it a giant corn dog trying
to make me think it is a real person?” or “What did that giant corn dog
just say?” or “Excuse me, Mister, why is it that you smell just exactly
like corn dogs smell?” or, of course, after a silencer: 
“Madam, did you just let the corn dogs out?”
Heck, after what I’ve heard about LSU fans, I think it may be better 
not to smell them at all. Okay, not all of them. Some of them are 
nice. Sure. Smell the nice ones. That’s okay.
You know what else is a bad thing to do? Holding your nose around them. 
They are real sensitive to that, too. Try holding your breath. But
don’t be obvious about it. Somehow they know you’re trying not to 
breathe in the corn dog smell. And that offends them. They’ll likely 
punch you for that if they catch on to what you’re doing.
If you do breathe it in long enough, though, it’ll permeate your whole 
body, and then you’ll smell like a corn dog just like they do. But
don’t say, “Dang, now I smell like a corn dog.” They take offense to 
that. And they will throw things. But not corn dogs. Hard stuff.
Stuff that leaves bruises and makes you bleed. Then you may have to get 
stitches or something. Just don’t say it. If you do start smelling like
a corn dog, just shut up about it. Okay?
I think kids are acutely aware of corn dog smells too. Counsel your 
kids on how to behave around LSU fans. If LSU fans are driving around
town, do not let your kids stick their heads out of your car window and 
sniff the air. No. Keep your windows rolled up. An odd change in 
their expression – indicating they smell corn dogs – might get a wrench 
or pipe or some other object tossed at your windshield. So, that’s 
dangerous. Let your kids stick their heads out of the car windows as 
you drive – on some other weekend
I know you are just as puzzled as I am about some of this corn dog 
stuff. What puzzles me most is that I’ve never actually seen any of 
these LSU fans with a corn dog in their hand. Okay, maybe there’s no 
mystery there – maybe they already ate the corn dogs. Who knows?
Maybe there’s a corn dog factory in Baton Rouge and they all work there.
Maybe, there’s a corn dog lotion that they wear, or a French perfume.

Maybe their city council puts corn dog juice in the water supply – 
kind of like fluoride. The politics there are probably weird.
The big political issue during the city election is whether they should
add more ketchup or more mustard to the water. Don’t comment on it 
though. It’s not politically correct over there. It’s like a 
malnutrition issue or something. It’s like the corn dogs are probably
added to the water to prevent starvation or something.
I know when you go to Baton Rouge, you’re thinking: “Ahhhh. Here I am 
in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I’ll bet the people here smell just like
boiled crawfish or shrimp etoufe’ or some fancy Cajun food.” But just 
stop thinking that. That’s just a myth. They smell just like corn dogs.
In fact, please listen to my advice. Leave them alone about the corn 
dog odor. And don’t try masking the odor with something stronger. 
They’ll curse at you. They’ll say something like: “WTF, how dare you 
smoke a cigar in my home,” or “WTF!! Are you too good for the smell of
corn dogs?” and they’ll cuss out your kids too: “WTF!!! Little Mister 
fancy pants over here acts like he doesn’t want to smell like corn dogs.”
Cajuns are not like us. Don’t you see that, yet? They are really 
sensitive about being sniffed and about their corn dog aroma. They know 
they smell like corn dogs and it is no laughing matter to them at all. 
I know, I know. We sniff the Bammers and the UGA Dawgs and the Ole 
messes, and we keep a straight face with each of them, but don’t press
your luck with the Cajun tiger fans. Don’t refer to Death Valley as corn
dog valley either. I mean that’s just wrong. Even if you’ve been 
drinking, they’ll beat you up and curse out your kids.
Along these lines, be extra careful when you laugh in their direction – 
even if you’re laughing about something else. Like baseball or football,
or sex or whatever. If you can’t control yourself and you must laugh 
though, do not snort. The snorting makes them think that you smell their
corn dog body odor from a distance or that you’re choking on it or
something. They’ll likely burn your van for that. We lost a campus
building over just one snort. 
So, just remember. You can love one another without sniffing each 
other. You can enjoy the clash of a couple of good football teams.
You can enjoy the thrill of the rivalry. But after the game, please heed
my words. Please just move along. No sniffing the opposing fans this
Saturday. Okay? Get your corn dog jollies at home.
Enough with this corn dog talk. Let’s play ball…

3 Keys to UGA Victory Over LSU

Well, well.  Here we are fellow Dawg fans.  For the first time since 2005, the Georgia is BACK to Atlanta for the SEC Championship game.  Phil Steele was right, once again.  Professional and personal responsibilities have kept me busy this week, and this post serves as several I had wanted to do.

I didn’t expect to see this happen preseason, and I sure as hell didn’t excpect it after the South Carolina game.  Honestly, the day South Carolina did a Houdini act against Mississippi State, I was certain they would still win the East.  But the improbable happened, and Georgia has a chance to give Mark Richt his 3rd SEC title. 

“Corbindawg,” you say, “you think we have a chance?”   Yes, I truly feel the Dawgs have very good chance to beat LSU.  I actually feel pretty good about the Dawgs on Saturday (and by pretty good, I am giving the Dawgs a 35-40% chance of winning, which is better than most!). 

You have to look no further than the last time LSU and Georgia met in the Dome for the reason I think Georgia has a shot.  Also, read what Phil Steele says about the recent games in this series. A YouTube channel had the highlights of the 2005 game I was going to play to support my case, but that channel was taken down, so you will just have to trust my memory here.

I remember Georgia got the ball to start the game and we did nothing; perhaps went 3 and out.  Then we punt to LSU and pin them deep.  A LSU 3 and out later, UGA gets the ball at mid field.  Then, D.J. Shockley hits Sean Bailey deep in the corner right corner of the end zone-a few yards from where I was sitting.  The very next time Georgia gets the ball, Shockley hits Sean Bailey but this time in the left corner on the end zone.  3 UGA possessions, 2 long TD passes.  14-0, UGA.  LSU scored again to make it 14-7, but  never really threatened on the way to a 34-14 rout for the Dawgs. 

There are three keys to UGA victory:

1.   UGA has to make big plays in the passing game.  Murray has to let King and Mitchell stretch the field and hit the speedy UGA receivers going deep.  Yes, the LSU secondary is outstanding, but if Murray can make an accurate throw, Mitchell can outrun anyone in America.  It becomes man vs. man then. 

In order for Murray to hit the deep ball, and for the deep ball to be open, that is going to take Crowell running effectively.  Crowell doesn’t have to get 150 yards, but Crowell has to stay in the game and give John Chavis and that LSU defense something to worry about and keep those elite safeties playing up close to open it up for Orson Charles in the middle and the receivers going down field.

2.   I don’t think LSU can score on us when they have the ball on offense. LSU can score from any where on the field at any given time, but I like our defense versus their offense.  Yes, LSU likes to run the ball and grind it out, but the Dawgs have proven they are stout against the run.  The one game where UGA was suspect to the running game was against South Carolina, and Grantham’s charges held Lattimore in check most of the game, and when Lattimore hurt us, it was when he got to the outside.  LSU is a power running team, and our front 7 can stop that.  That means the game will have to be in Jordan Jefferson’s hands.  Sure, he did well against Arkansas.  But “Elite Quarterback” are words that aren’t normally used to described Jordan Jefferson.  The adjectives “inconsistent” and “bad decision maker” are more appropriate. 

Fans have a short memory, about Jefferson and the LSU offense’s performance against Arkansas, but think back to the Alabama game.  Now, the UGA defense is not as good as Alabama’s, but as I documented on Monday-it’s close. Jefferson had a very pedestrian day of 6/10 for 67 yards and 43 yards rushing in 11 attempts. I feel good about it being kept a close game because I think the Dawgs will make LSU’s running game ineffective, and I feel good about making Jordan Jefferson having to beat us.

And I must set up reason three.

I went to the 2005 SEC Championship game. Georgia was ranked 13th and LSU was 3rd and the one point favorite.  I sat in the corner of the end zone where Bailey caught his only two passes of the day.  It was our section, an aisle, then the LSU section.  The LSU fans were LOUD.  I was scared for what was about to happen.  Then BOOM.  Georgia wins.  I rode back to Athens and listened to the postgame show on the radio and was smiling like a jackass eating briars.  I wasn’t under the influence of any substance except pure joy and happiness.  In my state, I made a comment that, at the time, I thought would be true:  Mark Richt will never lose another SEC Championship game.  He stared down the gullet of the beast, and slayed the dragon. 

I certainly didn’t foresee UGA stumbling the way they did.  I mean, Georgia had just signed a 5 star QB from Texas and a stud running back from Jersey.  The 5 star QB was supposed to be the one who took the program to the next level beyond what David Greene did.   2006 might be a little rough, but I was giddy in anticipation for what the future would bring.  What happened in 2008-2010 never crossed my mind on December 3, 2005. 

Three months to the day we were embarrassed by Boise State in the Dome, and six years to the day I witnessed the last UGA SEC Title, we’ll have a shot to win.  And here is the third reason the Dawgs have a chance:

3.  Mark Richt can still coach.  He has been there, done that.  Richt has gone toe to toe with Les Miles 3 times and is 2-1 against the Mad Hatter, with two decisive victories and one controversial defeat.   He has proven this season like he said at the Macon Bulldog club meeting, he “can still coach, and knows what the Hell” he’s doing.  Richt’s calm, steady demeanor has been criticized by fans and pundits and Macon talk show personalities, but that calm, steady demeanor was a big factor in keeping this team together and that will be a reason the Dawgs have more than a puncher’s chance to win on Saturday.

It will be a longshot, but a part of me really likes the Dawgs to win.