Archive for August, 2011

When The Bulldogs Return To Winning, You Can Thank Me

Funny how things work out.  Exactly one year ago yesterday, I posted about my revelation that I was to blame for the recent Bulldog misfortunes.  I realized the red gameday pants I used to wear had “shrunk” and, since the last time I wore them to the Auburn Blackout, UGA had struggled since my personal waist size expanded to a size beyond the wasit size of the britches. 

I vowed to attempt to get in the pants by the end of the season.  It didn’t work.  Although current set of pants did get a little baggier, it was no where near the required amount to get back into the pants I doned in 2006-2007. 

Well, as luck would have it, I found a loophole. 

Last night, on the 1 year anniversary that I posted about my red pants, the Mrs. and I were in Belk  getting  a present for some friends who had a newborn.  We were about to leave and I noticed a big sale in the Men’s section.  Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed some red pants hanging on the rack.  I ran over there and and saw some red Dockers chinos in my size.  It ain’t exactly UGA Red, but it is red enough to be passable.  I looked at the red sales tag and realized they were like 70% off, so I paid my $16 and went about my business.  I now have a pair a of red pants to wear to games again. 

Now, some might say that is skirting fate.  But that is not the case.  You see, I bought a pair of red pants in 2004 and wore them faithfully for two seasons, until a 34 would no longer cut it.  So then I upgraded prior to the 2006 season.  There was never any stipulation on my superstition; red pants were always red pants from 2004-2007. 

So, everone, you’re welcome.  Coach Richt, when you have a good season and save your job, you can send me $16 repayment.  I am sure you can afford it.



Boy! That Escalted Quickly. I Mean, That Really Got Out Of Hand Fast

You never know when you are going to be walking down the street with your buddies, and the next thing you know, you are in a gang fight and someone gets stabbed in the heart with a trident. 

In college football, things can escalate quickly, for a variety of reasons.  It could be NCAA investigations, it could be the loss of some great players at once earlier than expected, it could be a bad couple of recruiting classes (any of that sound familiar fellow Georgia fans?).  Here are some examples of teams that had a lot of success (or failure) in many seasons and then things changed quickly:

  • In 2005 and 2006, Notre Dame was “back”.  Brady Quinn was a good college QB and led the Irish to two BCS bowls in consecutive seasons (never mind the fact they got blown out both times).  In 2007, the Irish went from 10-3 to 3-9. 
  • Texas lost a total of 8 games in 4 seasons from 2006-2009, including one loss in 2008 and 2009.  Going back the previous nine years before 2010, Texas lost 16 total games in nine seasons.  In 2010, Texas went 5-7 a year from playing in the National Championship game.  
  • Florida had seven total losses from 2006-2009, including 2 MNC during that span.  Florida had 5 losses in 2010 and I’ll bet you money that Florida has at least 4 more in 2011.
  • Iowa and Kirk Ferentz had good success in the early part of the decade.  Remember how around 2003 and 2004, every time there was an NFL job open, Kirk Ferentz’s name was floated around?  He must have a great agent, because he has got a large contract extension due to his perceived worth.  In 2002-2004, Iowa went 11-2, 10-3, and 10-2 respectively.  Iowa struggled in 2005-2007.  Had an outstanding year in 2009 before going back to 8-5 last year.  
  • According to Phil Steele’s fine research, Penn State had 4 losing seasons from 2000-2004.  The Nittnay Lions went 4-7 in 2004 and rebounded to go 11-1 in 2005.  Penn State had a nice run from 2005-2009.    
  • Illinois football every year except 2007. 

And finally….

  • Georgia was one of the most consistent teams in the country from 2002-2008.  2 SEC Championships and 5 top 10 finishes, including finishing #2 and #3 in 2007 and 2002.  After falling short of lofty preseason expectations in 2008, our beloved Bulldogs have struggled to a 14-12 record the last two seasons.  Mark Richt was chest deep in water before he addressed the leaks in his ship, so now that it is nut cutting time, we’ll see if he is using a tea spoon or 5 gallon bucket to remove the water. 

This is a Georgia Football blog, so what does it mean for UGA?  Well it shows that other programs have struggled and have been able to turn it around.  Most schools that turn it around have brought in a new coach and some fresh blood has been infused to the program.  But established coaches can make changes also to change course.  Can Mark Richt do it?  We saw last season he was making some changes.  Will it be enough?  I don’t know.  I sure hope so.  I looked to last year as a rebuilding year.  UGA was starting out with a new defense, a new QB and a new approach.  That was year one in Part II of Mark Richt’s career.  Year two usually brings more success.

Georgia won’t be down for long, not with the talent that is on this team. If Mark Richt has made the right hiring decisions, we should see pretty quick if the program is getting the water out of the boat. If he hasn’t, then someone else will be roaming the sidelines in 2012 or 2013.

And while it doesn’t take long for success to disappear, it doesn’t necessarily take long for it to come back, either. 

With 3 more years of Aaron Murray, and young talent like Ray Drew, Malcolm Mitchell, Isaiah Crowell and Jim Jay Rome, Georgia won’t be down for long, regardless of who the coach is.  I think with this infusion of Dream Team talent, plus the stability of Aaron Murray, Georgia is about to go on a run similar to what we saw in the early 2000s.  I am not saying Georgia wins the SEC East this season, but it won’t be long at all.   

To quote Jimmy Buffett, “better days are in the cards.”


Lewis Grizzard Wednesday: Double Dose of Current Events

Ripped from today’s headlines, I had something planned about Moammar Gadhafi.  I know whe have done the Moammar one before, but it is topical.  Lewis had a joke one time that the reason that Gadhafi was so grumpy was becuase there was sand in Moammar’s underdrawers.  I’d like to share it, but it was on my old computer that has long “bit” the dust.

Then saw this columnabout earthquakes and thought it was appropriate also.  So, it’s the last Wednesday before game week, why not indulge a little?  I won’t tell if you won’t.   The news is filled with war and earthquakes, and Lewis shared his thoughts on both of those subjects.

Colonel Khadafy — The No. 1 El Freako 
Throughout history there always has been at least one nut case loose who is trying to play havoc with the rest of the world. 

There was Attila the Hun, of course. Great guy when you got to know him, said his best friend, Leroy the Hun, but he was bad to sack cities and rape and pillage. 

(The term “rape” I am familiar with, but I’ve never quite known what you do when you sack a city or pillage whatever it is you pillage. I slept through most of the ancient history courses I had in high school.) 

In more modern times we have had Hitler, Idi Amin and the Duvalier boys from Haiti. 

But the No. 1 el freako in the world today has to be Col. Moammar Khadafy of Libya, who is so nutty he spells his last name six or seven different ways. 

I’m not certain what it is Col. Khadafy wants. Attila the Hun wanted to rape, sack and pillage. Hitler wanted to rule the world. 

Col. Khadafy apparently wants to be a large pain in the world’s behind. (I’m not certain where the world’s behind is, but Libya certainly would be one of my first guesses. New Jersey wouldn’t come until much later.) 

If that is what Col. Nutso wants, he is doing a very good job of getting it. He’s in the papers most days, he’s on the tube most every night, and he has gotten so much attention as the world’s bad boy, he has become a household word. Like “toilet.” 

I have observations about how we should handle the Colonel and the Libyan situation. 

First, I think we should launch an investigation into the fact that Col. Khadafy looks very much like the baseball pitcher, Joaquin Andujar. We all know after watching the World Series last year in which Andujar, then with the St. Louis Cardinals, set a World Series record for throwing temper tantrums a la Khadafy, not to mention beanballs. 

Could it be that Joaquin Andujar and Col. Khadafy are the same person? Have you ever seen them photographed together? If they are the same person, then all we have to do is get a few Marines to hide in the opposing team’s dugout one night and when Andujar-Khadafy walks in, the Marines could beat him with fungo bats until he promises to go back to Libya and hush. 

Also, we could send him a year’s supply of Tylenol, or spread a rumor he has AIDS. We could send Frank Borman to run his personal finances, or we could get Dr. Jan Kemp to sue him. 

I heard former Sen. Howard Baker of Tennessee, who might even become our next president, make a speech recently. He told a joke that isn’t a bad idea of how to handle Khadafy, either. 

“One morning,” Baker began, “President Reagan called his aides and wanted them to bring John Hinckley Jr., who tried to assassinate him, to the Oval Office. 

“When Hinckley arrived, the president said he had forgiven him and would order his release. 

“Hinckley was overwhelmed. He said, `Thank you, Mr. President. Is there anything I could do to repay you for your kindness?’ 

“The president said, `Well, there is this one little thing.’ He took a folder out of his desk and pulled out a picture of Col. Khadafy. 

“He said to Hinckley, `See this guy? He’s dating Jodie Foster . . .’ ”

Earthquakes Frighten Me 
LOS ANGELES – As soon as I stepped off the plane here in Los Angeles, I bought myself a newspaper. A word jumped off the front page at me. That word was “earthquake.” 

There are lots of words that frighten me. “War” is one. “Snake” is another. And I’ve never been overly fond of “alimony,” either. 

But earthquake: as in the ground opens and swallows you up. 

The paper said that only one day before I arrived here, a quake registering 5.9 on the Richter scale had tossed Southern California hither and thither. There was a lot of damage, a few injuries, but nobody had been killed. 

What really caught my attention, however, was the suggestion that continuing shock waves from the original earthquake might set off a few more in the next couple of days, the exact length of my visit. 

I went directly back to the Delta counter to book myself the next available r eturn flight to Atlanta, where there never has been a recorded earthquake. 

My traveling companion tackled me, however, and took away my wallet and credit cards. Quite reluctantly I ventured on to my hotel. Locals don’t fear quakes 

I was assigned a room on the 11th floor. 

“Do you have anything lower?” I asked. 

“What did you have in mind?” said the clerk. 

“A very secure metal vault in the basement,” I said. 

The clerk laughed. “You’re afraid of another earthquake,” he said. “All our out-of-town guests are the same. But don’t worry. A 5.9 on the Richter scale is nothing.” 

For years, scientists have been warning that there definitely is going to be a major earthquake in Southern California, a catastrophic earthquake that could cause the entire area to fall off into the Pacific Ocean. Scientists further say it could come at any time. 

What is amazing, however, is the locals seem unconcerned. 

“The last quake came at 2 in the morning,” a native was telling me. “I slept right through it.” 

“I worry more about the smog or getting killed on the freeway than I do an earthquake,” said another. Taking a few precautions 

Me, I’ve been the proverbial cat in a room full of rocking chairs for nearly 48 hours. 

Everywhere I walked, I walked very slowly, making sure each step was on terra firma that wasn’t doing the boogaloo before I took another. 

I’ve been very careful to notify waiters not to fill my coffee cup completely full. In case of a quake, I don’t want to spill hot coffee on myself. 

Whenever I’ve waited on the street for a cab, I have tied myself to the nearest light post with my belt in case a tremor suddenly came and the flat horizon was suddenly downhill. 

So far, so good. Southern California is still basically intact and so am I, and in just a few more hours, I will be out of here. 

If I make it, thanks, Lord. If I don’t, tell my mother I remembered to brush every day and I never wore dirty underwear unless it was absolutely necessary. 

“Don’t worry,” the hotel clerk had said. “A 5.9 on the Richter scale is nothing.” 

It’s not the Richter scale that bothers me. It’s richter mortis.

Good Story About Georgia Theatre

I haven’t been to the new and improved Georgia Theatre, but am looking forward to it.  I hope the fire took out the dirty beer taps.

Here is a story with some photos.  It looks pretty neat. 



Sorry to steal your show Corbin but I wanted to add this.  I promise you that you will miss that keg beer since they are only selling cans now.  I went to the Truckers show two weeks ago and the place is nice.  We spent the afternoon on the roof top bar, which has some good views south back towards campus, before going to the show.  Some side notes to keep in mind; shows are now starting earlier and will end somewhere just after midnight so that the roof bar can open.  Get there early and bring ear plugs.  While we were right down front at the stage, I’ve been to NASCAR races that weren’t that loud.  They may have be working out the kinks in the sound that night but it was a little overkill.  But that aside it’s very nice and congrats to Wil for getting back open.



No problem Granite.  Thanks for the insight.  When you try to put forth some effort, you do outstanding work.  Looking forward to the first Kinchafonee Cowboys Concert at the Theatre.


2011 Season Bold Predictions-National

Last year I did 5 Bold predictions for the upcoming season.   I got 2/5 correct, for 40%, and was 100% right about the Gators.  I will make some SEC predictions, but here are 4 for the National College landscape:

1.  Penn State will win whatever division they are in, and also win the Big 10 Title.  Since I wrote that, I looked it up.  It is the Leaders Division along with Wisconsin, Ohio State, Illinois, Indiana and Purdue.  Penn State has a pretty easy schedule and should only have on loss (Alabama) and be undefeated in Big 10 play heading into the first part of a brutal 3 week schedule.  On November 12, Penn State plays host to Nebraska.  Then the next two weeks it is back to back road games at Ohio State and Wisconsin.  After dropping the game to the Corn Huskers, the Nittany Lions will beat Ohio State and, in an emotional game, beat the strong Wisconsin Badgers.  The next weekend, in a rematch against the Corn Huskers, an inspired Penn State team will beat Nebraska (and give Bo Pelini his 3rd straight Championship game loss) and head to the Rose Bowl.

 2.  Georgia Tech will win 10 games, but not play in the ACC Championship game.  Florida State and Virginia Tech will play in that game-again.   As long as Jimbo is at Florida State (and Dabo is at Clemson), the ACC Championship game is going to be very repetitive for the next several years.   I think Georgia Tech should be 8-0 heading into the Clemson game on the Flats.  Tech will lose to Clemson, Virginia Tech and Georgia, finishing the regular season 9-3.  Paul Johnson will finally get his first Bowl win at Tech, capping off a 10-3 season and top 20 finish. 

3.  Only one team that played in a BCS game last season will repeat in the same game.  Let’s run down last years’  games:   BCS Title game:  Oregon vs. Auburn; Fiesta: Oklahoma vs. UConn; Sugar:  Arkansas vs Ohio State; Orange: Virginia Tech vs. Stanford; Rose: Wisconsin vs. TCU.   I don’t think Oregon and Auburn will play for a MNC again.  I already covered that Wisconsin won’t be at the Rose Bowl.  TCU won’t play there again.  Arkansas and Ohio State won’t be at the Sugar Bowl.  UConn and Stanford are taking a step back.  The only two that stand a shot are Virginia Tech and Oklahoma.  Oklahoma won’t play for the National Championship, but wind up in the Fiesta like they always do.  Virginia Tech won’t make it back the Orange Bowl.

4.  Notre Dame will be declared as being “back”.   Let me give you a quick run down of Notre Dame’s opponents this season.  These are the games Notre Dame should win:  South Florida, Michigan, Pitt, Purdue, Air Force, Navy, Wake Forrest, Maryland, Boston College.  These games are toss ups or losses:  Michigan State, USC and Stanford.  Including the Bowl game, Notre Dame will have a shot at 10 wins and, since UGA is going to beat Boise State, ESPN will find their new darling to ram down our throat. 

Again, for the sake of being open and transparent, at the end of the season, we’ll go back and look to see how wrong I am. 


Too Soon To Be Called A Bust?

Tim Tebow could be cut or traded.  But more than likley, he’ll be cut or ride the pine, becuase-big shock-there is no trade value for him.

Mike Freeman of CBS considers the possibilities. Freeman reports that he spoke to some NFL personnel executives and he gathered that Tebow — who has fallen to No. 3 on Denver’s depth chart behind Kyle Orton and Brady Quinn — could be traded. But Denver will likely either keep Tebow or cut him because there isn’t much trade interest in him.

Gee whiz…Tim Tebow isn’t going to make it in a pro-style offense.  I think this surprises exactly no one outside of Josh McDaniels and the folks in Gainseville. 


How Nike Really Determined Pro Combat Design

Thanks to some loyal spies and the Patriot Act, TGT has some insight on what the meeting at the Nike HQ was like when the designers were coming up with the UGA Pro Combat uniforms.

Scene:  Nike Headquarters on a rainy Friday afternoon…4:50 pm.

Designer #1:  …and that does it on the LSU Pro Combat uniform.

Designer #2:  That looks gnarly.  Great job team!

Designer #3:  After spending all day on something, I am proud of that product we have put together!

Phil Knight:  Hold on guys, you still have to design a UGA one for the Chick-Fil-A Game. 

Designer #1:  Chick Fil what?

Phil Knight:  Chick-Fil-A. 

Designer #2:  I don’t get it.

Phil Knight:  It is a restaurant that sells fried chicken sandwiches.   It is a filet of chicken, therefore Chick-Fil-A.  Big thing in the South, especially Georgia.  They like to draw out their syllables.  It started in Atlanta.  I saw one in an airport one time, they have waffle fries.

Designer #3:  Do you put maple syrup on them? 

Phil Knight:  Surprisingly, no.  Ok, well, we all rode our bicycles to work today, and if we want to make Happy Hour, we better leave here in a hurry.  We have to get this sent to the sweat shop in Vietnam today. 

Designer #1:  What are their colors again?

Designer #2:  Red, black, and a little silver.

Designer #3:  What has our research uncovered? 

Designer #2:  They are a passionate fan base.  Their Coach, Mark Richt, has called us before and wanted to tweak their uniform for special occasions. 

Designer #1:  Oh, yeah.  They wanted some Black jerseys, pants and helmets? 

Designer #2:  Exactly, dude.  But their fans have come to hate the black.  It has bad memories.

Designer #3:  Ok, simple enough.  All red. 

Designer #1:  Ok.

Designer #2:  Gnarly.

Designer #1:  Ok, well we have to do something with the helmet.  Can’t have that red, too.

Designer #2:  Oh, no.  That would just be tacky.  Well, their baseball team has white helmets, so we don’t want to copy them.   We have used black in the past, and that was unpopular. 

Designer #3:  You said their other color was silver?

Designer #2:  Yes.

Designer #1:  Let’s make the helmet silver, then. 

Designer #2:  Gnarly. 

Designer #3:  Hold up, we have to do something else to the helmet.  

Designer #1:  Good grief, just put a red strip down the front and through the face mask and be done with it.  Agreed?

Designer #2:  Gnarly.

Designer #3:  Sounds good to me. 

Some finishing touches on Photoshop by Designer 3

Phil Knight: Good job, guys, and in record time.   I’m sure all the UGA fans will love this.  We’ll get this emailed to Vietnam and have those kids get it made. 

Clock strikes 4:58 and group departs to the local bar via bicycle for Happy Hour.