Archive for June, 2011

Lewis Grizzard Wednesday: Beef

Hope you enjoy some good meat on the grill over the upcoming 4th of July Holiday. 

Here’s The Beef

In protest for what I consider to be recent unfair attacks on beef, one of my favorite meats, I went out and had myself a thick, juicy T-bone at Long Horn Steaks the other night. 

It was great, as usual. I would have eaten two if my stomach would have held another because we beefeaters need to do all we can to tell the wimps and weenies who have put themselves in charge of our lifestyles to go eat a bucket of worms (a.k.a. sushi). 

It’s cow meat they’re after now. One group says we’re being cruel by killing cows and chopping them into steaks. 

There’s a book out about the evils, both social and physical, of eating beef as well. I refuse to name it here and give it any publicity. 

And then, I read a story in the papers about a report from the American Chemical Society saying the natural substance that gives beef its meaty taste has been synthesized in the laboratory and may be used to turn tofu into a substitute for beef. 

Do what? 

I asked a health nut to tell me what tofu is. It sounds to me like a ballet dance step. 

“It’s soybean-based,” she explained. 

So let me see if I have this straight. 

Some scientist has come up with something in his lab to put in something made out of soybeans, and I’m supposed to eat that instead of beef? 

The magic ingredient is BMP. Said the article, “BMP could be used to make imitation beef with little or no saturated fat similar to the way fake crab meat is made.” 

Fake crab meat? What’s going on here? 

In the first place, I once ate a soybean burger. Another friend of mine, also a health nut, said, “Try this, you might like it.” 

Somebody once said the same thing to me about marriage. 

The soybean burger was awful, so I went to Wendy’s and got myself a double with cheese to get the taste out of my mouth. 

In the second place, when are those self-appointed jerks going to stop jacking us around about our food? 

Remember when you were growing up how important it was to eat eggs? “Eat the rest of those eggs, young man,” my mother would say, “so you’ll grow up big and strong.” 

Not anymore. Now they say eggs cause diphtheria, not to mention shortness and weakness, so somebody has come out with a fake egg. 

I bet a chicken could tell the difference. 

Pork has been put down as unhealthy. Some chickens have tumors in them and fish have mercury, and I never knew there was such a thing as fake crab meat until now. 

So what’s left to eat? Nothing much. If what we read and hear is true, we’d all be better off if we didn’t eat anything at all, never had sex, abstained from drinking, smoking and gambling, and died on the operating table instead of getting a blood transfusion that could give us AIDS. 

Life used to be fun. Now, it’s just one big Don’t. 

But I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’m going to continue to eat beef and everything else I like. I will never walk into a Long Horn and say, “I’ll have the tofu T-bone, please.” 

If doing such a thing kills me, it’ll just have to kill me. 

I think I’d rather go suddenly from a beef overdose than live long enough to get really sick and wind up croaking in a hospital bed where they’ve been keeping me alive by feeding me through a tube. 

There should be the basic right to live free from as much worry as possible. But how can you, when not a day passes that we aren’t told what’s the latest thing that’s bad for us? 

Eat, drink and be merry, I say, for tomorrow you may choke on a big piece of broccoli.

2011 Season Tickets

Starting today you can go online and view your season ticket information and seat location for the home games.  Away game tickets will not be issued until later this summer.  While most people keep their same seats each season this is helpful if this is your first year donating or if you are like me and accidentally double ordered and found of this morning you now have four seats.

Corbin, they are in the same location so it’s debatable if you will be allowed back.  Sorry.

Here’s the link where you can view your seats.  Just go to go to “My Account” and then “Order History”.

Georgia Bulldog Club

Is Dan Uggla getting out of his funk?

Dan Uggla has hit 3 home runs in 10 days, spanning from June 12 to June 22.  He is still trying to be an “all or nothing” swing, but I don’t think the Braves had in mind for Dan to bat .300- or even .280.  Uggla prior to last season, had only hit above .260 once in a full seaosn-his rookie year in 2006 when he hit .282.  Starting in 2007 through 2010, he hit   .245, .260, .243 and .287.  Even with those years with a poor batting average, Uggla had at least 30 HR and around 90 RBI.  The Braves broght him in for that, not his average. 

We are almost at the midway point of the 2011 season, and Dan is having a season so far to forget.  He is batting a miserable .177, has 10 HR and only 23 RBI.  If he was more in line with his career numbers, I honestly think the Braves would be leading the NL East and have one of, if not the best, records in baseball. 

Is Dan Uggla starting to turn things around?  He has had a pretty decent week and a half.  I don’t think Dan will improve much on his average…it is hard to raise an average once it is below the Mendoza Line as long as it has been.  But if he can start to hit for power, then we should be in good shape.  Remember last season, Troy Glaus had a monster May and June before his old, steroid ridden body began to break down.  If the last few weeks are any indication, maybe Dan can start to get thigns going again.


It Ain’t Gonna Happen

I have had a hard time keeping up with football events in recent weeks.  I took a week hiatus on to Gulf Shores (the Shrimp Basket has the best shrimp Po’ Boy sandwich ever and Lost Keys Golf Course in Pensacola is ridiculously hard).  The Braves are in a tight race and my fantasy baseball team just took a major hit with Albert Pujols getting hurt. 

This has been a quiet offseason.  No players getting arrested, no star wide receiver selling a jersey.  Same old “were working hard” meme that could/could not be BS that I am tired of hearing.  I have tried to curb my enthusiasm a little by not reading my Phil Steele religiously yet…I don’t want to get too excited too soon. 

I had some time to kill yesterday and ventured over to fellow blogger CCRider’s blog, Sports and Grits.  I don’t know CC, although we did do a podcast together for The Leather Helmet Blog.  I must say, I like CC’s writing and humor, but we have a fundamental disagreement on Mark Richt.  Though I have never spoken with CC directly on this issue, I can tell right off he is not a Mark Ricth fan…he boasts he is a sausage maker.  He makes some good points.  I don’t agree with some of his names he uses and the tone he takes, and I don’t think it is entirely fair (borderline mean spirited), but I respect his different opinion.   

CC has a series of posts promoting his blog’s campaign to have Gary Patterson to come to Athens as the UGA head coach in 2012.  Now I am of the opinion that Mark Richt can get things turned around, the defense will be better, and as long as Aaron Murray is healthy then we should have a pretty good offense, despite the fact we have question marks at receiver and running back. 

I would love to have Gary Patterson as the head ball coach in Athens if/when Mark Richt’s time in Athens comes to an end.  But I don’t think Patterson will ever come, and I must disagree with CC.

First off, TCU is heading east in 2012. TCU will join the Big East a year from now.  For TCU to make a BCS game, they will not have to play a conference championship and, despite what Coach Patterson says, it will be an easier road to an automatic qualifying for BCS game, and eventual BCS National Championship game. 

It does not take a genius to think it will be easier to run the table in the Big East than it is in the SEC, particularly at Georgia.  At Georgia, you have to play South Carolina, Tennessee, Florida, Auburn annually (despite the fact some of these teams are in rebuilding mode, they are still legitimate teams), must play Arkansas, LSU and Alabama 4 times a decade, and every 5 years, must play Alabama and LSU twice in a season.  That is tough.   Pitt, Rutgers, West Virginia, UConn and South Florida aren’t exactly on the same level as those schools-no matter how bad Tennessee is. 

Going into Patterson’s 11th full season coaching at TCU, they has moved from the WAC, to CUSA, to MWC, and now to an AQ BCS Conference (the addition of TCU gives the Big (L)East instant credibility).  He has spent a decade building up the program at TCU-why would he leave a program he has built to come to another stop?  Don’t say the tradition or money of Georgia-as noted above he can easily cement his place among college football’s elite at TCU.  If TCU hadn’t had the road paved for an AQ, then I would see it more likely.  Now, I don’t think so.

And this is an aside, and a lesser reason why he wouldn’t come, but some food for thought still. Gary Patterson is the same age as Mark Richt.  He has been a Head Coach about the same time and has a similar overall record (against, by and large, weaker competition).  He is no doubt an outstanding coach.  If Georgia runs off a decorated, successful head coach like Richt, I think it would be a tough sell to an already established Coach like Patterson to come to Athens.  I think we would have to go the Assistant or young Head Coach route.  After paying Richt approximately $12-15 million to buy out his contract, I don’t think it is feasible to sign a Coach like Patterson to the $5 million per year contract like CC suggests, although I am sure he is being snarky and not for real.

If I were Patterson, a question I would have would be “Gee, Mark Richt had XYZ amount of success over there, and they cut him loose.  Why would I want to go there?  What will they do with me if start to have some trouble?”

If I were an established head coach who has built up a program, I would not go to a place that ran off a coach the caliber of Mark Richt.  Fans, like CC, may be angry with him, and have justified reasons to be concerned with the direction the program is heading.  But I don’t think they see the forest for the trees what the man has accomplished in Athens, and has a pretty short memory.

CC does bring up some good points about more of a spread attack, although I think he forgets that David Greene was pretty good even though he wasn’t an NFL QB and Aaron Murray broke some records in this offense.  I don’t have an opinion of his desire to run a 4-2-5, although with Kwame Geathers and Jon Jenkins and our linebackers we have now, I think we are suited pretty well personnel wise to run the 3-4 defensive scheme.   

My point is Gary Patterson stands as good a shot of being the next head coach in Athens as Newt Gingrich does in being the next President of the United States.  It would be nice, but it isn’t going to happen.  If we are going to waste our time talking about “what ifs”, we should waste our time being realistic.


GA Theater to Reopen In August

Good stuff. 

I just hope the beer is still hot and nasty.


Chicks Dig The Long Ball

Today, the Braves added three home runs.  Like I said yesterday, the Braves are near the bottom in MLB in runs and batting average, but (as of yesterday morning, before the three today) rank 8th in baseball in home runs. 

I guess Maddux and Glavine were right:

Chicks dig the long ball.


Any Options for Braves?

Last night, Tim Hudson hit a two run bomb and basically beat the Blue Jays all by himself. 

With the injuries to Nat McLouth, Jason Heyward, Chipper Jones and Martin Prado, and the overall ineffective bat of Dan Uggla, the Braves offense has been very anemic…and I hate to slander people who lack iron in their blood by comparing their weak blood to the Braves offense.  Through 74 games, and out of 30 MLB teams, the Braves rank 26 in batting average (.238), 21 in runs (285), but surprisngly 8 in home runs (76). 

Pitching, on the other hand, the Braves are doing quite well.  The Braves rank 2 in team ERA (3.08, only 0.03 behind the leading Phillies).  For anyone who has watched the Braves play this year, these numbers and rankings should come as no surprise. 

The Braves have a heap of good, young pitching.  Brandon Beachy,  Julio Teheran, Randall Delgado, Johnny Venters, and Craig Kimbrel are all solid as a rock.  There is no lack of depth in young quality arms that could be used as trade bait to help the struggling offense.  This article by SI has a list of potential bats that could be avaible in the trade market. I don’t think the Braves are going to get any of the players listed here, but they need to do something.  And they need to do something fast. 


UGA in 2011: Again, Talent Won’t Be The Problem

Looking at Edward Aschoff’s rankings of different units, a lot of UGA players are at the top at various postion rankings.  According to the rankings, which any ranking in June and July should be taken with a grain of salt, Aschoff says UGA has the best Quarterback, best tight end, second best offensive lineman, the tenth best linebacker, the 10th best defensive lineman,  and the 4th overall best linebacking and wide reciever/tight end groups. 

Phil Steele ranks some of UGA’s postions even higher. 

The obvious, glaring problem that Aschoff sees that many of would agree with is up front on the lines of scrimmage.  He ranks the UGA Offensive and Defensive lines at 7th best in the conference. The perception out there is that UGA does not lack talent.  Though the talent on the team NOW is not how it was in the Greene-Pollack years, it does not mean there is a lack of talent on this team in recnet years-especially on offense.  Matthew Stafford, Kris Durham, Knowshon Moreno, A.J. Green, Massaquoi were all drafted in the first 4 rounds of the NFL draft in the last couple of years-4 of those in the first two rounds. 

What kept the 2008 team from being so successful, and is the key for the 2011’s squad to be a success-is the the drop off on the defensive side of the ball.  We all know there has not been a UGA defensive player taken in the first round of the NFL draft since 2005.

While the defensive talent is not where it was earlier this decade, there is still a ton of talent on that side of the ball.  John Jenkins, Kwame Geathers, Alec Ogletree, Brandon Boykin, Branden Smith, Sanders Commings, Alec Ogletree, Bacarri Rambo, Christian Robinson and Jarvis Jones are all talent players who have potential to make this unit a dominating force again in the SEC.  The speed and bloodlust in the linebacking corp specifically will be very intersting to see.

The talent on the field may not be where it was, but it certainly should not have translated to 14-12  overall the last two years.  The $3 million dollar question is can the coaches get the most out of this talented group?  We’ll konw real fast on September 3 and September 10. 


UGA Parking Services Will Now Step Up Thier Game

Last summer, A.J. Green wouldn’t let UNC get all the limelight with their players recieving improper benefits.  Now, UNC has reported that football players have racked up over $13k in fines from campus parking tickets.  UGA Parking won’t let UNC get the best of them on this!

Seriously, though.  I know Butch Davis has done a fine job at UNC.  He is a good coach.  But that man should be on thin ice, in my opinion. 



Professional Golf

This is a huge week for golf, simply because of the US Open. It’s probably my second favorite tourney of the year. Everything about it is great.

Something else happened this week in the world of golf that is even more special, to me anyway, than the US Open. A young man from middle Georgia won his first professional golf event when he shot a collective -10 at Carolina Lakes Golf Club as part of the Carolina Summer Series on the Hooter’s Tour.

Joe Young, a recently turned pro, won in his 3rd event since turning pro. Joe played four years at GC&SU, winning several honors there including All American. A native of Cochran, GA, Joe currently calls Cuscowilla his home course,  though Uchee Trail is where he learned the game.

If you enjoy golf I’d encourage you to follow the Hooter’s tour. There are some exceptional golfers out there grinding it out every week, and Joe is one of these. Here’s to wishing Mighty Joe all the best the rest of the year and beyond.