Archive for May, 2011

Lewis Grizzard Wednesday: Stand Up

Lewis was an accomplished author, but he was also known for his tours.  Here are some classics we can relate to:

Lewis on bottled water and showers:

Lewis on Tech:

Lewis on Clemson:


Butts-Mehre Tour

I’m starting a new job this summer on UGA campus and I’ve decided to do a few things between now and my start date in June.  When I saw a meeting located at the  Butts-Mehre building, I was pretty sure that was one thing I shouldn’t miss. After our large group meeting, the athletic association folks took us on a tour of the new training facilities.

First impressions, its everything that the reports say. I’m not an expert on how training facilities should look, but it the things they can use this new facility for blew my mind.

I’m not exactly sure if they wanted us to take pictures, but as soon as I saw someone else in my group snapping a few…I got trigger happy. I’m sure all of you have seen pictures online already, but below are a few shots I took from my phone.

Wall decoration in large video room

Quick Weight Room Shot

As other folks have mentioned, the graphics and promotional materials on the wall are something that really stands out.

New TVs are everywhere too…Here’s a few with highlights of current NFL players running on loop and a countdown that loops every few minutes between Boise and SC games
1. The Hurdle

2. The Countdown

Graphics of former players are on every wall.  Each position group has their own meeting room, and each group has their own graphics of former players. More motivation for Crowell:

They have a wall dedicated to former players in the NFL. The picture below has a list of each UGA football alumn that played in the NFL….by NFL team. Forgot to count because we went through pretty fast, but I’m pretty sure every NFL team is on there:

We also went through the locker room pretty quick, but I took some shots of the new guys:

And last but not least…the indoor facility. The site of the infamous “Crowell” incident where he filled in the empty tailback spot.

All in all, I think we really have something to recruit and show off the program. Hope it translates to the field this fall.


Great Weekend For Georgia Sports

The Braves won 2/3 in Philadelphia.  UGA golfer Russell Henley won the Stadion Classic at the UGA Golf Course.  The Hawks tied things up with the Bulls.  The Diamond Dawgs saved a sweep from Auburn and had a dramatic comeback win. 

During football season, it is rare that all 3 Georgia teams win in the same weekend (Tech, UGA, and the Falcons).  In fact, it happened only once last season-on the October 9th weekend.  The Jackets beat Virginia, UGA beat Tennessee, and the Falcons beat the Browns.   It only happened 3 times during the 2009 season (weekend of September 12, September 17 and November 8).

Last night Atlanta teams were show cased on National Television doing well.  The series against the Phillies was as important as a series the first week of May can be.  The Braves had excellent pitching all weekend.  The bullpen was fantastic and the starters were dominant.  Even Julio Tehran in his MLB debut was decent. 

The Braves can’t rest on their laurels too much this week.  The Braves have an off day today, then have a home stand against the Nationals (3), Phillies (3) and Astros (2).  The Braves catch another break it appears against the Phillies at the end of the week and will miss Roy Halladay as it stands now.  That is the third series against the NL’s best team that the Braves will miss baseball’s best pitcher. 

Looking down the road, the schedule eases up tremendously for the Braves over the next month.  After this home stand, the Braves have a series agasint at  Arizona (2), at the Angles (3), and at Pittsburgh (3).  Then they return home and face the high powered Reds (3) and  close out the month against the lowly Padres (3). 

The offense is finally starting to come around for the Braves.  After a dismal April, the Braves are 2nd in the NL in total batting for the month of May so far.   One area the Braves need to improve in are stolen bases.  The Braves only have 6 SB for the year.  6?!  The Braves are scoring runs, but only have a .241 batting average.  I am not saying they should start getting all Tony LaRusa on us, but they have got to find a way to manufacture some runs better.  

As long as the starters can go 6 innings, the rest of the game seems secure with O’Flaherty, Venters and Kimbrel.  The bullpen doesn’t have much depth beyond that, but you can sacrafice a deep pen when you have the starting pitching that we do. 

A great weekend for the Braves and a great weekend for Georgia sports in general!


stats from

Braves Enter Philly On A High

The Braves are starting to play some good ball right now.  Nate McLouth has been seeing the ball very well since moving to the 8th spot.  The pitching has been fatnastic.  Dan Uggla seems to be getting out his funk-maybe.

The only blemish this week has been against the Cardinals, but those were all very close games and the Braves went toe to toe with the NL Central leaders.   The National League seems to be pretty mediocre this year.  I think the Giants are going to come around, but already it seems like the best division in the NL is the East.  The Braves, Marlins, Phillies, Cardinals, Brewers, Rockies and Giants are the only teams that seem to have much of a chance.  The Marlins are doing well so far, led by some solid pitching, but I see them fizzing out soon.  The Braves can make a big statement if they can carry their solid momentum from the past two weeks into the City of Brotherly Love.  It is never too early in the season to win a series agasint the Phillies.

There are some good pitching matchups this weekend, as the Braves send out Lowe, Jurrjens and Hanson against Cliff Lee, Roy Oswald and Cole Hamels, respectively.  We catch a break again agaisnt the Phillies by not having to face Halladay. 

The Braves are first in the NL  in team ERA, but the Phillies are not far behind at 3rd. 

Our very own Kensingtondawg is heading up there to catch tonight’s and Saturday’s games. It should be a good weekend of baseball for the Braves-and hopefully we can take the series against the Phillies!  With our outsanding pitching, the Braves can beat anyone any given night. 


What Was A Bigger Disappointment?

The 2008 team continues to haunt Coach Richt.  To pour salt in the wound, the Seattle Seahawks drafted Kris Durham in the 4th round last week.  I think they got a steal.  Durham did nothing at Georgia except catch the ball.  You may not remember many of his catches, but you certainly don’t remember any of his drops.  He would catch everything thrown his way.  I am glad to see he made the most of his opportunity, despite the fact he may or may not have been behind the A.J. Green scandal.   So if you are keeping score at home, that makes 5 offensive players from the 2008 team drafted in the first 4 rounds of the NFL Draft.  Stafford (1), Moreneo (1), Massaquoi (2), Green (1) and Durham (4).  Damn.


My wife and I have stuck with The Office, although I think Modern Family and Archer are now funnier.   But though The Office has wanned a little in the last few seasons, it has gotten better in the Michael Scott farewell season.  And the development of Andy Bernard has been great.  So, when I heard that Will Farrell was coming on for a 4 episode story arc, I was excited.  The prospect of seeing Rain Wilson, Steve Carrell, Ed Helms AND Will Farrell together was just great.   Well, no spoiler here, but last night’s episode was the 4th and final for Will Farrell.  And his departure was odd.  I must say, I was terribly let down with Will Farrell on The Office.

So, this begs a question-what was the bigger let down?  UGA’s 2008 season with all that NFL talent or the Will Farrell experiment on The Office

I am going to go with The Office.  The 2008 season was ok.  It wasn’t terrible, and it ended on a good note. 

What are your thougts?


Is the SEC East Too Low Of A Goal?

It’s what we call the Silly Season of SEC Football these days. Spring football and signing day have past, and the only thing for fans to do for the most part is go paranoid over-analyze over small details.

One of those is preseason predictions. Although they’re about as useful as toilet paper until September arrives, preseason predictions are fun to talk about at this time of year.

Which brings us to what we’ve heard recently – that Georgia, a team with a losing record a year ago which is putting its hopes on a crop of players who have never played a down of college football, will win the SEC East.

Don’t get me wrong, I want to have the problem of telling my wife we can’t Christmas shop on a Saturday since we’re going to Atlanta for the SEC Championship Game.

Scan message boards, sportstalk and other places, and you hear talk of the Dawgs being favored to win the SEC East.

But is the SEC East alone too low of a goal?

Georgia is, or at least should be, in the business of winning championships, not just being invited to the party as a participant.

During the 1990s, Mississippi State and Arkansas punched their tickets to merely play for the conference title – and South Carolina did likewise last year. Each team has one thing in common – a rung on the ladder for teams on their way to championships or in the least, a top finish at the end of the year.

I mean South Carolina won the East last year, but how big of an accomplishment is it considering they beat out two bad football teams to win the division?

Getting to Atlanta is nice. But it cannot define a season. Getting past Atlanta on the other hand, can.

Georgia cannot afford just to be happy to get to Atlanta.

The harsh reality is that based on the past five years, many UGA fans would be thrilled to get to Atlanta, regardless of the result.

Lugnut Dawg

Can’t Wait To Go To Barnes And Noble

I don’t think I would buy John Rocker’s new book that is coming out, but I would be interested to sit in a Barnes and Noble one evening and read it. 

I just wonder how long it will be until it is on the discount shelf?


One Hitter More Impressive Than No Hitter

No Hitters are something special.  I am glad that the tradition of talking about the no-no or perfect game is observed, in most cases.  I was appalled that Tom Glavine would talk openly about Josh Johnson’s no hit bid against the Braves a few weeks ago.  I would have thought that Glavine would have known better, but I guess you have to expect that from someone who would leave the Braves for the Mets.

Tuesday night, Francisco Liriano threw a no hitter.  It is a great feat to toss one.  No ground ball getting through a hole, no grounders with eyes. 

Last night, Tim Hudson pitched a gem.  A one hit, one walk, complete game shutout.  What is even more impressive, 26/29 batters he faced he threw first pitch strikes.  He also had 6 Ks. 

I look at Hudson’s stat line (got in the first game of the double dip, but couldn’t watch the second), and then look at Liriano’s, and I must say I am more impressed with Hudson. 

Tim Hudson was two batters away from a perfect game

Yes, Liriano gets the publicity for throwing a no hitter.  But he got lucky.  He had more walks than strikeouts and bad control.  He needed 123 pitches to Hudson’s 102. 

Also look at the opponents.  While Milwaukee is only a slightly better hitting ball club than the White Sox, Hudson had to navigate around Nyjer Morgan, Rickie Weeks, Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder.  Not an easy task. 

So, not taking anything away from Francisco Liriano’s no hitter.  There have been only 270 in baseball’s long history.  But Hudson’s was much closer to being more special, and in my opinion, much more impressive.



UPDATE: Dave O’Brien, the David Hale of MLB beat writing (behind of course, the real David Hale), shares my sentiment in a much more eloquent way. 

Lewis Grizzard Wednesday: Car Dealer Commercials

If you listen to the radio or watch TV, you likely have seen or read many over-the-top car dealer commercials. Lewis was no fan of such commercials.

It should be against the law for automobile dealers to do their own television or radio commercials. If they do, then the penalty should be somebody sticks a hot exhaust pipe . . . well, they should be severely punished.
This isn’t some half-baked idea I just thought up. This idea is fully baked and it comes from years of listening to car dealers doing their own television and radio commercials.

What is it with these people? Do they think we’re deaf?


Cuzzin Tom will pick you cleaner than buzzards on a dead possum in the highway, and he will spend every decibel in his power to lure you into his trap.

I don’t begrudge a guy trying to move a car or two, but why must these money-changers go on radio and television and make absolute fools of themselves? Patriots and kinfolk

There are several ways car dealers make fools of themselves on radio and television.

There is the patriot: “We sell only American cars, ‘cuz we believe in Americah. If you don’t buy a car from us, then you must be some kind of commanist.”

Then there is the I-Am-Just-One-Of-The-Family routine: “We luv you, and we luv yo’ chillun and we luv all chillun and we luv evahbody’s chillun, and if you buy a car from somebody else, it must mean you one of them chile-abusahs. We offer easy financin’ right on our lot.”

There are the car dealers who recently underwent frontal lobotomies: “We’ve gone crazy at Crazy Al’s! We’ll sell you any car or truck on our lot at crazy prices! We’ll give you a car or truck! We will pay you to take one! Take our cars! Take our trucks! We don’t care! We’ve gone crazy!” He wouldn’t slick you

The all-time car dealer who does his own commercials, I firmly believe, is right here in the Atlanta area. His name is Charles Hardy, and he operates out of Dallas.

I’m not sure how many car dealerships Charles Hardy must own, but if it’s got wheels, Charles Hardy sells it.

Charles Hardy says, “We luv you and we need you.”

Charles Hardy says, ” . . . And for goodness sakes, let’s take care of those precious chilluns.”

Charles Hardy loves America. Charles Hardy is a family man. Charles Hardy is a country boy who wouldn’t slick you.

If you buy a car from Charles Hardy, he will be so appreciative, he’ll probably come over to your house once a month to wax it.

And one more thing. I have every right to say these things, because I come from a long line of used car dealers.

Charles Hardy may be all that and he may do all that, but his commercials are driving me crazier than Crazy Al.

There is only one way to stop these people and that is to make it unlawful for them to clutter the airways with their nauseous hard sell.

And if they disobey, I’ll tell you where to stick that hot exhaust pipe.

Right up their Isuzus.

Lewis Wednesday

Mama be Sweet

Whenever I left my mother’s home, and we are talking a period of over forty years, she would always end her goodbyes with these two words: “Be sweet.”

When I was a child on my way to a friend’s birthday party, I suppose that meant not to stick my finger in the cake or do a lot of whining and crying. In my teen years it meant not to steal any hubcaps. As an adult, I guess now she was beseeching me not to rob a liquor store, engage in any insider trading, and to go out amongst them each day with a smile and agreeable disposition.

I can’t recall sticking my finger into too many birthday cakes. I never stole a hubcap. Not one.  I’ve never robbed anything nor have I engaged in much of any kind of trading that was profitable.

But that other stuff—the daily smile, the agreeable disposition —well, I’ve had my failures.
I notoriously have not been sweet to such individuals as waiters and waitresses I’ve deemed slow or unable to service correctly what I considered to be the simplest of orders. Many a rental car clerk has known my verbal wrath, not to mention motel housekeepers who bang on my door too quickly after the first crow of morning, and people I don’t know who address me as “buddy.”

Yet, my mother’s words, so simple, were so implicit: Be sweet.

We have recognized the terror that is the violence amongst us today. The drive by shootings. Another kid was shot dead in the school. The yellow police line tape and pools of drying blood on a mean street on the eleven o’clock news.

The money we will spend, the hours we will study and discuss in an effort to find a solution.

But isn’t it right there in Miss Christine’s words—Be sweet? We aren’t sweet. The truth is we don’t honor sweet. We don’t even like sweet. Sweet is weak. Women go to classes to learn not to be sweet.

Men. We’ve got an entire generation of young toughs out there who are drunk and dying on their own testosterone. Being sweet in that group can get you killed. It’s a manhood thing. An Atlanta Falcons football player, Andre Rison, decides somebody has challenged his manhood outside an Atlanta nightclub. So he goes to his car and gets his gun. There’s this “dis” thing. It is street talk for “disrespect.” I’ve got this big gun here. Respect me or I’ll shoot you.

No. No. Be sweet.

Be kind and gentle. Be tolerant. Be forgiving and slow to anger.

Be tender and be able to cry. Be kind to old people and dogs.

Be loving. Be tender. Share. Don’t pout. Don’t be so loud. Hold a puppy. Kiss a hand. Put your arms around a frightened child.

Make an outstanding play and don’t do The King Tut Butt Strut to bring attention to yourself and point to the inadequacies of the vanquished.

Be Sweet. The wonders that might do. The wonders that just might do. I can still hear you, Mama.