Let’s stop this warm and fuzzy Auburn business

Ok, I’ll admit it. It’s easy to see Auburn as a likeable rival. I almost fell into the same trap earlier this week. I mean there’s so many similarities between us and the wartigerplainsmen it’s easy to see them as tolerable. But then, last night, I got to thinking about the Dawg Nation’s history with Auburn. And I want a piece of those towel-waving West Georgia waterboys. A win isn’t enough for me. Personally, I want to bury Auburn so bad that Chizik is fired by the stroke of midnight on Saturday.

So just in case you have an inkling of thinking Auburn is not so bad, this should cure you of it just in time for this weekend.

- They wish they were us

Auburn doesn’t have much of its own tradition to stand on. So naturally, it’s had to swipe some of others. Let’s face it. If you live in Georgia and go to Auburn, it’s usually because you couldn’t get into UGA to start with. Odds are that few end up at UGA because they couldn’t get into Auburn. That’s why Auburn wisely a number of years ago waived out of state tuition for high school students in metro Atlanta counties.

Auburn has so little to fall back on that its marching band swipes Georgia’s fight song and the Tiger Rag (also played by LSU and Clemson) and adopts it as their own. And then there’s Eye of the Tiger blaring over their speakers. News flash – unless Rocky Balboa is getting ready to fight Clubber Lang, it’s lame.

Hosed

One of the most infamous moments in the state of Alabama’s history is Sheriff Bull Connor ordering the use of firehoses during the civil rights protests. After losing to Georgia in an upset during the 1980s, Auburn quelled celebrating Georgia fans by using, you guessed it, firehoses.

Fake Juice!

Much is made among the Dawg Nation about Coach Richt and the ‘Fake Juice.’ But they chug it down by the gallon on The Plains. Whether it’s Trooper Taylor jumping around waving his towel like a rap star reject, planting microphones near students and its band to create artificial noise (the 1991 Minnesota Twins would be proud) or the music heading into the fourth quarter being Bon Jovi, Auburn is anything but a genuine atmosphere. Personally, give me Krypton entering the fourth quarter at Sanford Stadium any day of the week.

It’s $Camtastic

Despite heated moments, there was, for a while mutual respect between fans of both programs. Here in our neck of the woods, there’s a mix of UGA and Auburn fans. Let’s just say things turned ugly in 2010.

Auburn singlehandedly made a mockery of college football that year. Look, I know the NCAA cleared Auburn of wrongdoing with Cam Newton. But OJ was also innocent. Auburn can deny it all they want – there WAS a bagman. The NCAA just couldn’t pin it on anyone.

Facts are facts. Auburn bought and cheated its way to a MNC. Oh, and don’t dare mention that or the fact that since Auburn was the SEC’s flavor of the week in 2010 in addition to Nick Fairley blatantly trying to knock opposing QBs out of games and nearly start riots – to any Auburn fans. It’s all a see no evil deal.

Auburn bought a title, and they know it. When a fan base defends doing that, it really illustrates what is wrong with college football.

So, do we feel sorry for Auburn right now during its horrific season? No.

As my kin folks say – couldn’t happen to nicer bunch of people.

Auburna delenda est!

Go Dawgs!

Lugnut Dawg

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